Miles in his Band

So Miles had his first really bad day today.  It did not start out bad and it is not over but I have a small break and so while checking my email I decided to blog about this nightmare evening.  Miles just got his doc band.  This is a band for the head that looks like a football helmet and helps his head grow in the right shape.  He was born with a crooked head from being lodged down in my pelvis for the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy.  I felt him drop down there and went to the ER thinking I was in early labor.  Nope!  I was induced on my due date to finally eliminate the excruciating pain that was the last 6 weeks.  So, the band is to treat something called plagiocephaly (abnormal head shape).  Oh the fun never ends!

This band, so far, is a pain in the you know what.  I will refrain from using the word as we are eliminating all potty mouth from our house.  For some babies, this abnormal head shape is caused by too much time on their backs and in swings or infant carriers, bouncers, etc.  For Miles (and yes I will whine here) it is not my fault.  The boy is rarely in an infant carrier, does tons of tummy time and is held a great portion of the day.  He is held so much due to his enormous appetite and huge size – oh – lucky me!  He will need to have this band on 23 hours a day and because he is such a sweater I need to take it off every hour and dry him and it and then put it back on to avoid another serious rash.

Yes, the first day with his band my giant baby got a bad heat rash and it had to be off for a day so today was his first day with the band back on.  Things started out well.

Around 6 pm things were bad.  By 8 pm they were terrible.  I don’t know if it is the band or gas or a sudden decrease in my milk supply but this boy can scream!  I have never heard this kind of screaming before.  Not only would he not take a bottle (business as usual – he hates them) but he would not eat from the gals either.  According to the best of all baby scales he was eating 1 oz at a time – every 45 minutes – all night – until just now when he passed out from screaming and I finally could lay him down.

I am now just waiting for my beautiful banded baby to wake up and eat like his normal hungry self.  I am praying that I will get some sleep.  I love being a mommy but man…when it rains it pours!  I just hope he loses this crazy streak sometime soon.

Right now we have my sister Katie (will be contributing soon) and her 3 year old twins living with us while she finds a new place to live in Charlotte.  We live in a bungalow in Elizabeth that seemed large before we had kids, seemed just about right with 2 kids and now feels rather tight.  Now, I know that we are blessed to have this wonderful home and I know that we have more than others, but still, it is hard to count my blessings some days with all the screaming and gymnastics and messes that go on.

We have the time out corners down, we have a dinner time and play time and bed time ritual: all is going well.  We really feel like we are doing well with 4 kids under 4 in one house. 

Then, out of the blue, we are driving in the car and Sam, my nephew says “Shut the F*#@ up!” .  We almost crashed.  While I do not have a perfect mouth, I do not say this.   This is really bad.  Even though we are in the car, we are afraid that someone has heard this foul potty mouthed boy.   There was no need to ask him “What did you just say?” as it was clearer than any word he has ever spoken (of course).  So we responded by telling him that was a bad word and that when we use words like that we need to go to time out and take a break from play.  Lily (Sam’s twin) told us a boy in daycare had said this word and got a time out.  We said thank you Lily for exposing the teacher of the word, and re-iterated that Sam would have a time out when we got home.

The problem is, time out did not work.  This phrase was so upsetting that immediately all of the kids learned that it got our attention faster than anything else.  And so, our brilliant time out corner failed.  Sam sat down and seemed quiet until we realized he was whisepring this dirty little phrase and smiling.  Now we were stuck.  He was sort of being quiet but the little noise that was coming out was terrible and he was enjoying saying this and both Sophia and Lily kept laughing at what he was whispering.  It was like this dirty word was a magnet.  Previously, all the kids knew to stay away from those in time out.  Now, our beautiful structure was gone.

Katie decided that it was not okay even to whisper and told Sam that he should not use that word, even in a whisper, and that he would have to start his 3 minutes over.   Well, he gave a monster look to us, took a deep breath, and screamed that nasty phrase at the top of his lungs.  Over and over.  We were all stunned!

The house has never seemed smaller.  My neighborhood seemed small at this moment as I was sure everyone could hear this terrible outburst.  We did not know what to do.  When I was little I definitely would have gotten a spanking or, more likely, have my mouth washed out with soap.  The pic above is from the movie “A Christmas Story” – not our home.   In this day and age, those options are off the table so we were stuck with time out.  We told Sam that we do not speak to boy who use that language and that when he was ready to speak like a big boy we would talk to him.  Really I think we both had a slight urge after many minutes of just saying it right back to him, but we refrained as we summoned every ounce of adulthood we possess.

It took Sam about 20 minutes of screaming this to finally calm down.  We are dealing with these outbursts and they are getting shorter but they still happen.  Children’s counselors say that it normally gets worse before it gets better so we are waiting.  And cringing each and every time this comes out.  I just pray that he does not say it in front of people, but I am sure this is a wasted prayer.  Kids repeat what they hear and they seem to find really shocking things more interesting than the regular old conversation.

Life as a mom or aunt or any guardian is never easy, but this is the worst yet.  I will let you know if we survive.  Right now I want to crawl into an unoccupied corner of my house and dream of having a really obedient toddler.

I know this because for our annual gumbo party here in Charlotte we provide beads and sparkly masks for all the kids and any grown ups who drink enough hurricanes to think these treats are for them.  These beads and sparkly masks have provided Sophia and all her friends with hours of fun for the last year as she gets glammed up and looks like a Superhero with a very gaudy jewerly collection. From her first birthday on she has adored these beads.

Here is Sophie with her beads on her birthday and her friend Charlie at a barbeque a few months ago.  These beads are quite the hot ticket.

 

Now, to buy these beads in Charlotte was not as cheap as I had hoped and so I started thinking…If only those Bourbon street beads would be given to breastfeeding mommies when the girls pop out for lunchtime, we would be set for this year.  If I just nursed on Bourbon street the 6-8 times a day that Miles eats every day for the 5 days we are there I would have more than 30 glamorous necklaces for the kids to wear at no cost to myself! 

Before breastfeeding I never bared my breasts for the public but if it must happen, it would be nice to get some jewelry for it…don’t you think?

With a new baby comes a new life for those boobies!  Previously, these gals were yours and now, they are all about baby. 

I got a bumper sticker in the mail with a free product after my first baby was born that says:  Breasts – Food for Baby – Fun for Daddy.  I am sure that they are food for baby with my little boy, but can say that right now they are no fun for daddy – or mommy! 

Before babies my boobies were for our eyes only – now the whole neighborhood and most of Charlotte has seen them whether they want to or not.  I am not one of those take off your shirt and feed the baby kind of gals (Good for you if you are!) – I try to keep them covered but once you try latching a baby on with a big cloth over their head you will understand why everyone has seen them.  I am not coordinated enough to nurse in a sling or do anything fancy so I just do what needs to be done and live with the new lack of privacy.

I firmly believe that breastfeeding is best for baby and mommy, so despite my MANY challenges, I stuck with it for Sophia and I am doing it again for Miles.  It was an easy choice but much harder to stick with in real life.  As I go and as I think of things, I will give my advice, tips and tricks to make it through breastfeeding and hey…you will be able to laugh at this whole new world!  My boobie posts will be my who, what, where, why and when of the boobs and the baby.

Must go for now – the baby calls!

Beware, I am brutally honest and since I have little ones who spend the day eating from my boobies and pooping, my sense of what is appropriate has been dulled to almost nothing.  Things that some may find a tad gross I now giggle at.  I think most moms are the same way, knowing that being a parent (or doctors or the people on that show dirty jobs) is one of the most wonderful but also messiest jobs on earth.

I am 30 years old and some days I feel 10 years old.  Other days I feel 60.  This I think is also normal for a mom.  I have a gorgeous 23 month old girl Sophia and a 3 1/2 month little boy named Miles.  I have a wonderful husband who can attest to the fact that I am crazy.  When I found out I was repgnant with Miles, I left my wonderful well paying job at Wachovia to finish my renovation, spend time with my kids, and start a website for moms and dads.

Why am I starting a website?  Because I have one of those annoying personalities where I research everything, try everything and like to do everything myself.  So, with this large vat of knowledge (not all of it useful), I have decided to create a site that shares this with other gals who want the best information and goods for thier kids.  Since I have 2 kiddos, the launch is going to be almost 6 months later than planned…but I will post as soon as it is up!

So with a website and this blog I will be busy, but that is exactly how I like it!  Let’s get started!